Don’t seek closure! This is pivotal to moving on. You’re right, the other person often is unaware of why they behaved the way they did. They believe they were justified in their actions, not realizing they were just acting out their well-honed maladaptive coping mechanisms. And they will continue to do so.

The key to moving forward, then, is to dig into our own maladaptive coping mechanisms and release the energy knots that have kept us stuck in behavior loops that keep us miserable. At least that’s how it happened with me.