First mistake: searching for a soulmate. Why? Because it’s really all about oneself and what one wants the other person to be. Hardly anyone can live up to those expectations. But what if we really do find that special someone? Odds are they will seem like “ the one” as a result of our own projections. After the infatuation subsides, the other person is just who they are, not the image of them that we created. Best to get to know the real person from the start.