I like replacing “Emotional Intelligence” with “emotional fitness”. Emotional intelligence is, in fact, an oxymoron. Cognition and emotion are linked, but distinct.

An important aspect of building this emotional fitness is being able to sit with an emotion and try to understand its origin. Not the immediate trigger, but how it reflects your self-perception and from where that comes. Like doing pushups or swimming laps, it’s difficult at first, but it becomes easier and more rewarding with practice.