Interestingly, both my ex-wife and I were going through much the same thing, clinging to a choice we made many years ago but that was no longer serving us. It is both frightening and liberating to take that first step into the unknown. But here’s a really important point: The “unlived life” can be an even bigger, more powerful influence on us than we are often aware. As Robert Johnson wrote in “Living Your Unlived Life”, when we choose one thing, there is another thing that we do not choose. The choices we don’t make do not disappear. Rather, they remain in our unconscious mind, where they can fester and fulminate. If we remain unaware of these “un-choices”, one day they will break out in the form of highly destructive behaviors. Unfortunately, I got to have a front row seat to that. The key is to be aware of our “un-choices”, and if we decide to move away from our current situation, to do so consciously and without doing harm to ourselves and others.