It’s actually really simple. People who are in a self protective stress mindset are highly prone to acting like jerks. That means we can ALL be jerks! We are not likable when we are stressed, and we are not likable because we are stressed.

Impatience is the result of feeling at the effect of something or someone else. We feel out of control. We get angry, belligerent, or otherwise unlikable in order to reclaim some sense of control.

When you understand this about “ jerks”, you can have some degree of empathy and not take them so personally. You can also help them feel heard, if that would benefit the situation. Or, if possible, you can avoid them altogether. Often, though, we are stuck with them. At work, for instance. Understanding that they are acting like jerks because of an underlying stress mindset can actually be an opportunity for improving interactions with them. But don’t get sucked into their stress. They WILL try to drag you into their crap!