It’s called boundaries, and these are necessary for even healthy relationships. Each relationship requires its own version.

I don’t know Carol, but I question your assumption about her being born deficient in certain qualities. It seems that she suffered her own emotional wounds as a child, and consequently developed and refined maladaptive coping mechanisms for dealing with her relationships. She may not be able to bring herself to see a therapist, because in her mind it would mean that she really is a failure, but of course, it would be in her best interest.

What a mess we are!