One of the most important things I learned in my corporate life is that everyone, and I mean everyone, was using their well developed maladaptive coping mechanisms to get through the day, and everyone had their triggers. I came to realize how people in positions of authority felt especially vulnerable, and thus doubled down on their coping mechanisms, which often involved bullying, controlling, and manipulating others. I came to understand that they weren’t inherently bad people, they just had bad ways of making themselves feel safe and secure. I eventually ( much later than I wish, in hindsight) learned to frame comments that could be construed as criticism as questions born of curiosity. Interestingly, over time I really did become more curious and less judgmental. I even ended up coaching some people who were considered “difficult”, and I found them to be delightful. And rather than regretting that I hadn’t figured all this out earlier, I am grateful that I eventually did.