Our emotions always guide our behaviors, and when we are triggered, like you were by the person who made a comment about your father, it is actually the memory of an emotional experience from long ago that is being triggered.

In fact, our thoughts guide our emotions, and when it comes to emotional memories that get stored away in our hippocampus, the thoughts that created those emotions are long forgotten. We can, though, create new thoughts, and thus new emotions and behaviors for those situations that trigger us.

Making changes always starts with the recognition that what we’re doing isn’t working so well, and that in itself is so difficult. So, congratulations to you for recognizing that and thank you for sharing your experiences!