The key to understanding anger in anyone is that it is a secondary emotion, with the primary emotions being ones like fear, shame, and guilt. When these primary emotions are triggered, often unconsciously, people often quickly shift to a secondary emotion like anger because it makes them feel more in control. All of these are associated with a stress mindset, in which there is “something wrong”. The emotions of fear, shame, and guilt are associated with thoughts such as, “there’s something wrong with me”, or “something is going to happen to me”. With secondary emotions, our thoughts have shifted to “there’s something wrong with YOU”, which feels much better. It also is associated with threatening behaviors or actual assaults.