Tim,

Thank you for sharing your feelings and insights about an uncomfortable situation. I experienced many of these same feelings, and behaviors of others, after accepting a severance that I had requested. Even though I had initiated the process, there was still a feeling of rejection. You pointed out the importance of forgiveness, which is huge. What people often do not recognize is the necessity to experience anger in this situation, and to be able to express that emotion in a safe and healthy way. That is the prelude to forgiveness. A couple of points on forgiveness. It is not letting the other person off the hook. It is letting ourselves off the hook. The key, as you pointed out, is to understand that the behavior of the person who we believe has harmed us stems from their own psychological baggage and self-protective behaviors they have fine tuned over the years. We all have our own repertoire of such behaviors, and recognizing that can allow us to humanize the “demon”.