Wonderful, authentic description of your journey in therapy, Leslie. It takes so much courage to embrace this process, which is why most people won’t do it. But people would pay anything if they knew this: At the beginning you are afraid to face who you (think you) are. Then, at some point, you rediscover yourself and see that who you are is a wonderful person.

By the way, Fuck y’all is an expression of anger. For many people, such as those conditioned to please, this is a huge step forward. But it still suggests that your inner critic is easily triggered. I’m wondering if your therapist has you working past “Fuck y’all” to “I don’t give a fuck what you say”, to possibly “ That’s interesting”?

Good luck with the process!