Yes, yes, yes! We think of compatability as being based on common interests, what we like to do. I see this on dating sites all the time (sadly, I am on a dating site, for a little while, at least 🙄). In fact, I suggest that we tend to stay busy doing, doing, doing in order to avoid our feelings. That’s why we aren’t so good at paying attention to our feelings when we are with someone. Beyond the feelings that go with infatuation, what are we sensing deep down about a person? Really good chemistry creates a particular feeling. So does not-so-good chemistry.

One caveat to this is that often the feeling we get is based more on our false story telling history. It’s quite complicated. No wonder it’s so challenging to find a great partner. Or to be one!