You identify as an empath, but I'm not sure that the issues you describe have anything directly to do with empathy. These behaviors are at a lower level of consciousness, which I believe is the trap that every empath needs to recognize. By experiencing what others feel, it makes complete sense to want them to feel better, and in the process end up feeling as they do. That's the dive into lower levels of consciousness. We all do it to some extent, but empaths are probably more susceptible to doing this because they are more in tune with the feelings of others. My 2 cents.