You’ve articulated a fascinating concept, that we actually become more of what our ex-partner wanted after a breakup. Clearly, the relationship as it existed was inhibiting that. You have written the article in a way that seems to place the responsibility for that mainly on your ex husband, but it is a shared responsibility. I suspect that how I am now is much more aligned with what my ex would have wanted in me, but it took us breaking up for that to happen. It’s more than an irony, it’s a paradox.